One of the lyrics at the beginning are:
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return
So that kind of sums up how I’m feeling today. I have good intentions on many things, start strong, and then fizzle out. Like weight loss for example. Do good for a few weeks, then fizzle. I know I have to keep the faith, but days like this, I’m not really in the “go team” mood. So what did I do instead? I smoked a cigarette.
Now let me clarify something, I don’t smoke. Well, almost never. If I’m having a bad day, or having a drink with smoking friends, I might have one. But it’s not something I do a lot of. So today I am having a bad day so I smoked one cigarette. I can see why people get addicted, it’s very calming. Yes, I know, the issues outweigh the benefits, blah blah blah, but I’m just saying I get it.
So I sat in my car, smoked a cigarette, meditated, listening to Foo Fighters, and just sat. Was still. It was therapeutic in a way. It gave me strength to go back to my job for the rest of the day and gave me a bit of a reprieve in the midst of society-/self-imposed madness.
Now back at work, trying to look busy, I will look forward to my next check point of the day: going home.
Those are my deep thoughts for today. More tomorrow!
Doing some rebellious is okay as long as it doesn’t cause permanent damage.